Phone numbers are like trophies to eager men who want to show their friends that they can be successful with any woman they meet in the club or bar. But, just getting a phone number, even in a few seconds, doesn’t mean anything if you don’t do it right.
Here’s why.
If you bully her into it, she may not be very nice on the phone. Most women are kind of rude and uninterested on the phone, even if you had a GREAT time the night before. Get used to it – that’s how it will be.
But, if you approach number snagging the right way, she’ll not only have a more positive reaction when you call, you might get away with skipping the phone altogether.
First up, know that technology is your friend. These days, phones are only good for a conversation or a quick “what’s up”. Now, consider all the other ways you can talk to someone.
You’ve got email, Facebook, Twitter. And get this. Women are eager to give you that info. They will throw email addresses and Facebook tags your way without a second thought even as they hold onto their numbers like a million dollar safe.
Why?
Who knows, but you’d better use it to your advantage.
I recommend you talk to a woman for a few minutes before asking for any of this info, even if you’re in a hurry, because honestly – why not. Do you really want to call someone you have no knowledge about because she’s hot and you were in a hurry to get a pile of contact info?
No, probably not.
But, check this out. If you walk up to a woman and have a short conversation and then say “You have an email address?” she’ll be all about handing it out to you. Why? Because it’s casual and there is no requirement that she respond to your message.
Email addresses are more private, even as they give you a MUCH bigger opening to get to know her and develop rapport before a date.
Even better, when you ask for the email address, have her enter it directly into your phone. And guess what, you can then just ask her to add your phone number while she’s at it.
If a woman has already decided to hand over her email address, how much do you think she minds handing out a phone number to go with it? It’s pretty simple most of the time.
If you have a smart phone like a blackberry or iPhone, add her on Facebook right there. It’s not weird because you’ve already met in person and most people have dozens of friends on Facebook they don’t even know.
But, then you have access to send messages AND to learn more about her in a non-creepy way.
Phone numbers are great and you should snag one if you can, but if you cannot get one, turn toward the more technically advanced methods for communication – the social networks and email addresses that allow for personal communication, no rudeness, and less ‘maybes’ on her part.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Dating Mistakes, Flirting, Pick Up Techniques by .
Most guys who have trouble with women have a preconception about how all the game players out there manage to pick up so many numbers, go on so many dates, and be successful day after day after day.
They think there are secret lines, insider strategies and a series of interesting things to say that only the top dogs can pull off. They look for those secret lines and tips and they end up striking out even harder when they don’t work.
If you’ve been there, you have a problem.
Attraction is not a science with variables and set rules. It is an art form and like any artist, you need to have a feel for your craft on the inside.
You need to feel what you are doing and make it work for yourself. Seriously, how many people do you think can recite lines and land a woman that’s incredibly attractive and gets approached a dozen times every time she goes out?
It’s not many, and those guys probably have some superficial benefits on their side. Flip it around and take a closer look at the guys who are successful night after night.
They feel their success on the inside.
They’re not just some losers who spout nonsense over and over again. They are confident dudes that feel the inner belief and power they need to go up to a woman and show her they are ready to consider HER.
There are some keys to making this happen. First, stop worrying what other people think of you. When you relax and show your confidence, it doesn’t matter what the other guys in the bar think. If you pick up the girl, their opinion is obviously meaningless.
You’ve also got to show any woman you talk to that they need to earn you. You’re the commodity here and they need to show that they are worthy of being near you, even as a friend. Don’t bow down to a woman’s whims or fall for her constant tests to see who is in charge.
You also need to show that you’ve got the power to make instant, decisive actions. You’re not Hamlet – you’re a guy who makes decisions as soon as you know what you want. Never be afraid to go for what you want. If you are, you’ll never need to worry about what happens next.
Convincing the ladies is not as hard as you think.
Most guys assume that making their impression on a woman is a long, arduous process because in the past, the only times they succeeded where extremely tough and seemed almost like coincidences.
It’s because you’re trying too hard. Of course it seems hard if you keep trying so hard to get anything done. So, stop chasing the woman. Stop putting so much energy into impressing her.
Be yourself, be confident in your own attractiveness and be funny and engaging. She will soon (very soon, trust me) start to chase after you, even if just a little bit.
As soon as you can trigger that curiosity on her part, she’ll be yours and the process will be infinitely easier for you going forward. Less money spent, less time spend backtracking or apologizing, and less women instantly deciding “meh, never mind” when you cannot figure out why.
If you’re really interested in learning what the problem is, stop wondering and start making changes. She needs to see that you’re a man with power and character. Do that, and the rejections will dry up. Trust me in that.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Dating Guru, Flirting, Pick Up Techniques, Seduction by .
Every guy has their albatross, but most guys can agree that walking up to a woman in the bar is hard work. You can talk all you want about just getting out there and doing it, but at the end of the day, it’s still not easy to talk to an attractive women in a crowded, loud, competitive space like a bar or club.
So, right about now you’re probably looking this and saying, “yeah, so help me out a bit, eh”.
You got it.
Step one to talking to a woman in the bar is to relax. Don’t expect anything special to happen right away. Don’t expect her to be instantly attracted to you. There are muscle shirt guys all around you – they can pull that off. Your job is to be the interesting, curious, challenging guy that she needs to chase.
And you need to make your impression fast.
The approach should be simple, short, and sweet. Go up to her, be straightforward and AVOID LINES. Some guys will feed you lines. I steer clear and just go with something simple and honest.
But, here’s the key to what you tell her. Make it about you – not about her. Here’s an awesome example.
Jim goes up to a woman and says, “you have fantastic eyes”. Okay, good compliment, simple short, but Jim just handed over control of the conversation in the first line, showing her that he is willing to make it all about HER.
After Jim ultimately strikes out, Eric comes up and does his own thing. He says “Green eyes remind me of my garden back home. I love the way yours shimmer.” Check this one out. Same compliment, but it’s about Eric, not about her.
Eric doesn’t need to divulge any more – he can just jump into a short story about his day that makes some good points, but it should all relate to him somehow with plenty of chances for her to ask questions that will open up more.
Sounds complicated, but it’s easy as it comes.
She’s intrigued because you’re not showering her with gifts and compliments. And don’t forget – you don’t have to be into her. You can walk away, letting it linger with her. Guess how much it works her up if you come up, say something like that and then walk away with a “bye, my friends are waiting.”
Holy crap! She won’t see that coming from a thousand miles away. I’m serious.
You’ve just done something no guy would dare to do to an attractive woman.
And it works, because now she wants to know more about you.
She probably won’t come hunt you down, but check this out – you’re in a bar and she’s going to be around. Wait a few minutes, stumble back into her with a drink or on the dance floor and you have a tremendous amount of rapport and interest already built.
Instantly – you’re in.
Don’t believe me? Check out the poor schmucks who hang on her like a runny nose. Watch the body language and her eyes. She wants out. Now, give this a shot. One or two casual lines, a walk away, and she’s all yours.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Dating Women, Flirting, Pick Up Techniques, Seduction by .
It’s amazing how many guys think that because they come across a smoking hot, amazingly beautiful women, everything they’ve ever learned about dating goes out the window and they need to act differently.
Guess what? That’s not true.
It’s incredibly not true in fact – so much so that I’ve gotten tired of replying to emails and decided to write this article instead for the good of all the readers out there who have pretty much forgotten why Dating Secrets works at all.
Of course, attractive women are different in some ways.
• She knows how hot she is
• She expects you to fawn over her
• She will play games with you and test you CONSTANTLY
Those are the ways she is different and through it all, none of it means anything to you because you shouldn’t change a single thing about your approach, your pickup or your game.
You’re going to blow her out of the water by treating her exactly the same as you would any woman and she’s NOT going to expect it. Imagine being on a pedestal for any guy from 13 years of age. Now, some joke flinging guy comes along and refuses to do so.
She won’t know what’s coming and that’s huge for you.
First up, she’s off guard and will be interested in knowing what you’ll do next and what your surprises will be. Curiosity will win you more women than you can count if you go in with both guns blazing and deny her the things she expects from you.
Second up, she’ll see YOU as a challenge. How often do you think a women is truly faced with a challenge? Just about never…even women that are not very attractive rarely get challenged in any significant way.
It’s just not how most guys think. Except you do and that puts you in the top 5% off the bat.
Have you ever been in the top 5 percent?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
So, let’s run through this one more time, because it’s super important that you totally understand where I’m coming from.
Attractive women are powerful and hard to land because men make them that way. Men throw any vestige of control they have in the disposal so they can get a chance with a hot woman.
You’re not going to do that. You’re going to challenge her self beliefs, assert your own value and show her that you’re not needy or willing to sacrifice yourself for her.
And guess what she’s going to do?
Chase you!
Once you’ve baited the hook, gotten her interested in you and what you have to offer and then proceeded to draw her into your world, she’s going to chase you to not only learn more about what you have to offer, but to get involved with you on a much closer level.
And it all starts with not getting so blinded by her beauty.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Dating Guru, Dating Mistakes, Flirting, Pick Up Techniques, Seduction by .
You’re single, you’re interested and you’re out there every other night trying to find the next Friday night date. So, why does it seem like every woman you encounter is out to get you?
It may be because you’re exhibiting some of the key things that no women like about single, looking guys. What are the big no-nos of single guyhood? Let’s take a closer look and see what you’re doing wrong as we speak.
Groveling – It may not seem like begging, but the second you start kowtowing to her every whim, you’re as good as a guy begging for nookie and ladies just don’t respect it. So many guys do this and it’s reinforced over and over and OVER again on TV where men bow down and weaken themselves so the woman of their dreams will give them a shot.
Good luck guys.
It doesn’t work and if you do it, you’re wasting a ton of time on a woman that, at the very best, will see you as a friend, and at the worst will barely register your existence.
Begging for Approval - Ugh – stop asking her for approval of your lame-ass behaviour. Imagine if a woman came up to you in a bar and kept asking over and over again if you thought she looked fat and if you said anything remotely unkind, she’d get upset and start pouting.
How obnoxious would that be?
Well, guess what.
You’re doing the exact same thing and women hate it.
Stop apologizing for everything. Stop calling thirty times when she doesn’t answer the first time. Stop waiting forever to say goodbye, not wanting to “offend” her in anyway.
Women want a guy who is sure of himself and strong in everything he does. If you constantly follow her around, ask for approval and seem so needy, she’s never going to be interested in you romantically. Way too much work.
Communication – I don’t mean talking to her about how your dead cat from 10th grade affected your world view. I mean simply expressing your sexual energy and building attraction on her end. You’d be surprised how many guys mess this up.
Stop thinking that because she’s a woman and you’re a guy, you need to be careful and slow.
Take some risks, be confident and get out there to drive attraction from her in as many ways as possible. You’re wasting HUGE opportunities by not building attraction in her that can be converted to sexual energy later on.
Over 90% of everything you do with a woman should be to create attraction in her toward you and not vice versa. Don’t go gushing on the first date about how much “you really, really like her”. Instead, be a man and keep it cool. Show her why you’re interested, develop that connection and let it build from there.
The second you chill and relax, things will take off faster than you can possibly imagine.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Dating Guru, Dating Mistakes, Pick Up Techniques, Seduction by .
Every time you head out, there is a certain amount of pressure coming from some direction telling you to pay for everything and be the “man” in the situation. But, let me tell you something – that doesn’t work.
Not only does paying for her drinks cost you an arm and a leg, it turns you into a vending machine. She could be playing you for drinks. And if she does like you, how much can she respect a guy that will empty his wallet just to talk to her.
It’s no good.
Buying a woman a drink is not a good opener, is incredibly cliché and shows her nothing about you. Maybe, if no other guy in the world had ever thought to do it, you’d be alright. But, in any given night, a woman might get 3-7 drinks sent her way.
Doesn’t work very well.
Now, not buying a woman a drink has a strong message too. First, it shows her that you’re not eager to please. Most women pretty much expect you to pay for everything, though. It’s how it works in society.
If you ask a woman what she thinks, she’d probably tell you that men who don’t pay seem cheap, ungentlemanly and poor. It’s a bad combination…IF that’s what the woman actually takes out of the situation.
Okay, so what do you do? You can’t have her thinking you’re a loser who can’t even afford to buy her a drink, right?
Simple enough. Stop getting into those situations.
Focus on the attraction you create with her and stop worrying about the drinks.
Get her past that phase and make her stop thinking about it. You shouldn’t be trying to get her drunk anyways, so just don’t bring it up.
If you work well to generate attraction and get her really interested in you, she won’t care that you’re not buying the drinks. She might even offer to go get more because she wants to keep spending time with you.
Of course, if a round comes up and you don’t want to pay for it, too bad. You really cannot afford that kind of bad impression so early on. Later on a second or third date, you can start splitting the bill, but in those initial meetings, if you cannot avoid the situation, you’ll need to pony up some cash to make sure you don’t let a negative impression get through.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Flirting, Pick Up Techniques by .
Once you get lodged firmly into the friend zone, getting your butt out of there can be one of the toughest parts of any fledgling relationship. How do you convince a woman – so attached to the sanctity of friendship – that you’re not just another guy she can talk to. You’re a whole lot more.
First up, know that there is a massive boundary between friends and lovers for women. A woman will almost never just sleep with a guy friend. It’s weird to them and their brains don’t work in the same “anything goes” way that ours tend to.
So, before you can ever amp things up with a woman you consider your friend, you need to create an attraction in her toward you that can be turned into intimacy.
It’s like building a skyscraper. You don’t start by putting up beams. You lay a foundation first – and for most buildings, the foundation takes twice as long as the building.
So, what’s the secret to reshaping a friendship into a relationship?
First up, you need to make her “feel” something for you. You probably won’t ever understand what women are attracted to or why, but you can figure out how to adjust those feelings and use them.
Stay on task and you’ll quickly learn what works and what doesn’t work with the lady of your dreams, whether you’ve been friends with her since grade school or you just met her and ended up in the friend camp almost overnight.
What works to get her heated up for you?
Good question. It takes a lot of careful maneuvering. First, you have to show her that you’re a great romantic catch. You also need to put the ideas of a sexually based relationship into her head. Start talking to her more about sexual topics, all the while being casual.
Don’t talk about partners you have and use the “we’re buds, let’s talk” stream of conscious. Rather, ask her questions about sex. Rub her palms, give her massages, touch her arm casually.
All throughout this, you’re not once saying “I want to date you” or being overtly emotional in any way. You’re just showing her that you’re a man that she should be attracted to, then putting the idea of sexual attraction in her mind with your image and letting her do the rest.
It’s amazing how it works.
It’s like tossing a bowl full of fruit and ice-cream in the blender and getting a smoothie on the other side. Looks nothing alike, but the result is so sweet.
Men mess this process up more than anything else I’ve ever seen. They grovel, they beg, they follow them around. They practically throw themselves at their friends and then they muck up a potential relationship and a good friendship.
Back it up buddy. Keep it aloof and maintain your confidence. You can show her that you’re a prime sexual specimen without having to jump all over her and declare your love for her.
Be yourself, be cool, and plant your messages. Look for the body language that comes next and then use to your advantage. She’ll either come around or she won’t, but you don’t want to lose a friend in the process.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Friends Dating, Seduction by .
Watch any TV sitcom. What’s the most common recurring joke when a woman goes on a date and the guy isn’t quite right? It’s the clingy, over affectionate, kind of weird guy.
Okay, so TV shows overdo it a bit, but guess what – it’s all based on a nugget of truth and nine times out of ten, when I sit down to chat with a guy who is having trouble attracting women to him, it’s because he’s going the sitcom weirdo route.
Women do NOT like men who chase after them ceaselessly, trying to win them over and woo them with so much attention they could drown in the sugary sweet syrup of it all.
Here’s a secret – print this out post it up and read it every day because these three simple tips will make your love life so much easier.
1. Women Want a Challenge
2. Women Respect Confidence
3. Women Are More Guarded if You Chase Them
Simple enough, but every guy I’ve ever met who is having lady problems starts with at least one of these issues and messes it all up.
Guys – listen up – you have to stop chasing women around. Yes, women like attention. Don’t sit there and read them your life story on every date, but give them a good chunk of attention when you can.
But, and I must triple emphasize the BUT here, you should not push it too hard. If you’re trying too hard, you’re messing it up and you’ll probably see it in her within a few days.
Women want a guy who is a challenge, who is confident in himself and not needy, who can provide HER with a strong, powerful personality to rely on – not the other way around.
You know what all this does for a woman?
It creates attraction. Too many guys go the Disney route to love. They dote on women, they try to be “cute and cuddly” like a bunny from Bambi. You’re not a bunny. You’re a man.
You can create all the interest in the world and even get her to really like you, but if you try too hard and continuously throw attention at her, she probably still won’t be attracted to you. As soon as you learn that these things are NOT the same, you’ll start performing so much better with her.
How hard would you work for something that just landed on your doorstop versus something you need to go out and bust your balls for?
The same holds true for her. Make her work for you. Worried it makes you seem too full of yourself?
It doesn’t. Women are so unused to a confident guy who wants to assert himself in a romantic relationship – by showing her that you’re not just going to settle for whoever comes along, you’re creating attraction in her that will LAST for as long as you’re ready to drive that attraction.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Dating Guru, Dating Mistakes, Seduction by .
I got a couple new messages today asking me how to avoid the friend zone that these guys keep ending up in. I read their messages, made a list of everything they said they did and compared their notes.
Now, I want all you guys to read this, because it’s not just one guy in my inbox with a worry that needs to hear why the friend zone comes up so often. It’s all of you.
- You’re Chasing Her
- She’s Not “Into” It
- You’re Trying Hard
Okay, what do we have in common here? I’ll make it simple – you’re doing the wrong stuff. You’re going after her and it’s NOT working.
Women don’t respond well to a guy that chases them, practically begging for them to date them. Why not? Because they get to qualify you, make judgments about your personality and decide if you’re right for them.
Stop letting them do that!
You’re giving away all your power. You’re letting her take complete control and when that happens, your chasing looks needy and desperate – the exact thing that will practically ruin your chances at a romantic relationship.
What’s the solution?
First, up, stop chasing and trying to “convince” her of anything. Instead, start showing her that you’re the guy she’s aiming for and show her why that is. She needs to feel the attraction, not be told about it. She needs to be drawn to you, not the other way around.
This isn’t a job interview. You’re not trying to convince her to hire you for a relationship. You’re trying to draw her in like a bee to pollen.
Guys get all mixed up about how this works. They think that if they keep trying and keep chasing, the woman will eventually change their minds and start loving them back. Yeah, I don’t think so.
It doesn’t work like that.
What you really need to do (what everyone out there needs to do) is to learn how to attract women to you. Get them to come to you and find things that they want to learn more about from your personality.
The second you can create mystery and excitement to attract women to you, you’ll be WAY more effective at convincing them to see you in a romantic light. And yes, it can work with women who are already in the friend zone.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Dating Mistakes, Dating Relationships by .
Oh man, this is such a common question. A lot of you guys are not interested in dating five women a week and having multiple one night stands. I say Good for You – it’s never good to not have goals or a future in mind.
But, the problem is that most of you then start overthinking how to turn all the women you’re meeting into girlfriends instead of just another casual date for Friday night.
Then you try too hard, push her away and wonder “what did I do wrong”.
Here’s the thing, though. Women, even if they don’t take dating all too seriously and like to have fun with you, will get very serious if they think you’re approaching a real relationship with her.
Even if she’s still interested in you, the second you make it clear you’re looking for a relationship, she will run away – maybe playfully, but with the chase in mind.
You have to keep distance. Don’t let her think of it in terms of a relationship until you’re ready. Why? Because she’ll start nitpicking everything you say and do – after all you’re boyfriend material then, not just a guy she’s hanging out with.
If your goal is solely to be in a relationship, you’re going to have a HARD time playing it cool enough for her to become comfortable, get to know you and relax throughout the meeting process.
So, what does a smooth, confident guy do instead of chasing her to the moon and back?
He stops seeming eager, steps back and lets her wonder what his intentions are. Don’t appear to be playing a long game. Instead, relax and play the game from day to day and make it seem like you’re just out to have fun on that date.
You should be the aloof one, showing that you’re not needy and not about to chase her all over the place.
Guess what happens?
She starts to chase you, working hard to make sure she doesn’t let you go. The same message comes across. You’re a good guy, you’re worth of her time and she wants to spend more time with you. But, instead of her qualifying the heck out of you and trying to make you work for it, you’re doing it to her.
It works SO much better and can help move things along a little quicker for guys that aren’t up for playing games the next few months.
Stop playing games with yourself here. If you’re totally into this woman, stop messing around playing games and just spend a day or two with her every week. This will help you get to know her and work her into the mindset of wanting to date YOU.
And all the while, you can date other women if you’re comfortable with it and are sure that you’re not in a relationship yet.
Dating to find a girlfriend is tough work my friends. It rarely works. Instead, you need to remember that you’re just dating. Make her see you for the confident, smooth guy you are. Don’t sacrifice that or try to make her see otherwise. It doesn’t work.
That's all, simple isn't it? There are literally DOZENS and DOZENS of more ways to attract the ladies! Download a FREE trial of my online e-Book “Dating Secrets” and read it. You’ll be the center of attraction in no time!
Filed under Dating Mistakes, Dating Relationships by .